I am lost…

I am indeed difficult
Always I’ve and always will I
I’ve made up my mind not to settle for less
You came around trying to fix damages you didn’t cause
How do you intend to do that?
Maybe I have fear of abandonment
Fear of being alone in my world
You asked to see my world
But it isn’t rainbows and roses,
Butterflies and fragrance
It is dark and void
With my father helping me light it up
I still shove my father’s hand away
He stretch out his hand a million times
And I reject it a trillion times
I had to pay him a visit today,
And my heart was feel with joy
He’s the only one who can fix me
Not you or your damn books
Just him and him alone.
The truth is I don’t have a world of my own
I don’t have a happy place
I don’t even know what drives me
I just want to achieve my goals at all cost
I am trying believe me I am to see the world differently
But the world is already broken and there’s nothing left to fix.