James took a deep breath, dropped his phone into his pocket and hot pain rushed into his chest. He surveyed the busy street ahead of him and received a text notification on his phone. “I’ll be needing a makeover for the birthday shoot too baby”, It was a message from his girlfriend, Her younger sister had earlier put a call through to remind him of her school fees. At the sight of the message, he hissed out in frustration and set foot on the tarred road to cross.
He looked tousled, dark bags under his eyes and a messy crumpled shirt gave away the anxiety he seemed to be experiencing. With pale skin and outgrowing stubble. He wore a hopeful expression with several healing bruises on his body as a result of the laboring task he engaged in with some bricklayers. He instinctively limped into an office where a lady in her early twenties was sitting comfortably on a chair with a gigantic table set with a lot of files before her. She was stunning and quiet.
He studied the lady’s face as he handed over his CV to her, he glanced at her face expectantly. The lady looked up at his lost face, she couldn’t help but nod negatively. Fears pinned him in a point and he stayed very still expecting some words that would define his fate from her. “I’m sorry, you are not fit for the position”.
His face turned sour, and he immediately slipped into deep thought, as he gritted his teeth devastated, his fingers ran through the tendrils of his messy hair. He suddenly felt tired, he took his CV from the lady and egressed her office. His face was stricken with anger and terror as it would be the twelfth time he would be declined for whichever post he applied for. Even when he applied for the post of security guard, he was turned down and told he was too intelligent and smart for the post.
As he got out of the building, rain began to pour without warning, water flowed down the cramped street carrying mud and dirt. Everyone was running to stop the rain from reaching them and getting drenched. James continued walking in the rain, he rubbed his hands together as he felt the cold rain drip down his clothes and wet his credentials, he was all soaked that one could see his skin through his crumpled wet shirt. Despite the heavy rain and cloudiness, he could still see clearly. He continued with his journey back to his abode since he had exhausted his last penny on transport fare. He was left with no option but to trek back home. So what was the point of staying back to get away from the rain?
He couldn’t get tired of being out in the rain for so long, as a matter of fact, at this point, he feared nothing, not even catching a fever and it was a great chance for him to cry all he wanted. At least no one would notice the tears on his face. As a result of the puddles that littered the floor, every step he took was accompanied by a splash. Thunder growled in the sky and the rain kept pouring until he got to his apartment.
Confused as to what to do, James stood up and looked around. A very hard knock landed on the door supplemented with his girlfriend’s voice. He tried to think of a way out but nothing came to his mind. He had been avoiding Dora, his girlfriend since the last disappointment he encountered from his job hunting. His girlfriend had requested a huge amount of money which she was ready to lavish on a birthday shoot and party. Sadly, James couldn’t afford it.
He loved Dora too much to not be able to do whatever she requested from him. He would always ensure she didn’t lack, he gave her everything a man who was in love would give a woman, love, care, money, just name it, but this time he was so broke that he couldn’t even give his sister her school fees too.
“Is anyone there?” Dora pulled and pushed the door as hard as she could till James finally walked up to the door to unlock it.
“Hey babe”, he made gestures to hug her but she waved at his face as if to swat a fly. “James, how could you? You stopped picking up my calls even after dropping a message for you, has it gotten to this? Are you this worse now? Too bad to take care of your girl’s bills? My birthday has never been this boring but you made it, I’m so disappointed in you!” Dora kept on yapping non-stop which got James dumbfounded.
He tried to remember how they got there. The last thing he could recall was bumping into Dora when the day he was hurrying back home from work, her phone fell and developed a fault and James immediately transferred money into her account for repairing the phone. He got her contact to confirm later if she was able to repair it. From there, they developed an interest in each other.
But Dora had suddenly changed when James lost his job some months back, James had never failed her but this time, they had reached the edge of the cliff. “Why are you not saying anything?” Came an annoyed voice. James still couldn’t say a word, all he could do was blink sadly. “Oh I see, then we should stop seeing each other too since you’ve refused to pick up or return my calls or text messages and now you aren’t even replying to me”.
He frowned upon hearing this. “Babe, this is all a misunderstanding. You know absolutely everything, how I lost my job and still couldn’t get myself another one yet. You see, I’m trying hard”, Feeling numb, he finally voiced out and his voice sounded like it would break into tears anytime soon like a slave pleading for freedom. Dora looked at him approvingly with disdain, “And you are becoming incapable each day, you can’t even handle my bills!” Her satirical tone was enthused and detached. As her words hit his ears, he was incensed and wanted to flare up but kept calm. He still pleaded with her not to leave him but Dora’s heart was not with James anymore, her sight had gone far and her mind had wandered away. She walked away and slammed the door in James’s face. At that moment, he not only felt incapable but ridiculed too.
His phone blared immediately after Dora left and he reached for it, displayed on the screen was “my mum”. James’ heart raced as he saw this, he knew it was the end of the month and for his mother to have called, she must have been expecting her monthly token which James hadn’t sent. She couldn’t get it last month and James had promised her she would receive it all together the next month with the thought that he would have been able to secure a job. “Hello James, I never see alert oo”, his mother’s voice screamed out. James couldn’t say anything. “You dey there?” his mother repeated about five times and got no response so she finally disconnected the call.
“I’m sorry mum”, James said dropping his phone, almost losing his voice to tears. He began to gasp uncontrollably in a bid to suppress his tears, with his palms covering his face before transitioning to a loud wail. A good ten minutes passed before he could regain control of himself.
Men have lacrimal glands so they cry too! And yes, they are not made out of stone. To flee from the mockery of society they keep their emotions and thoughts bottled up in their minds. A woman can break down into tears when broken or depressed but a man can’t even shed a drop of tears without being tagged a coward. When a man says he’s broke or depressed, people yap at him with utter disbelief on their faces.
Why should there be high expectations, pressing pressures, and loaded burdens on a male child’s shoulder? They toil each day to meet expectations from lovers, siblings, parents, and what society thinks of them. Then if being a man is a job I think they should be fired for men feel pain and cry too. They keep on waiting for when life will care for them too. They hope someday they’ll be able to dance under the rain and not cry.
